As
you all may or may not know, I work in a clinical laboratory.
Some things
happen within the confines of the lab that are normal for us, but may be
foreign to those who don’t know better. And many things are said that make
perfect sense to us, but might elicit some double takes and eye popping from a
layman. I thought I might share some things that you will only hear in a
laboratory.
In no particular order...
1. I’ll take care
of those butt swabs.
2. Who wants to
look at my trichomonas?
3. I just broke
Wind (specific to Nordx Bramhall Clinical Lab)
4. I am the Diff princess…not the C.
Diff princess.
5. Who’s the fucking Cyclops? (when
sitting down at a microscope)
6. That poop needs to be liquid to
run.
7. I’ve been drowning in piss all
night!
8. Is that smell the hematology
waste or is it you?
9. You could bake bread with this
urine…(ew!)
10. Dude, this guy’s name is Richard
(insert anything that has even a remote semblance to something sexual)
And
to leave you with a few jokes:
What
do you say to a lab tech who just got promoted?
COAGULATIONS!!
Helium
walks into a bar and the bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gases in here.”
Helium
doesn’t react.
Sorry,
all the good chemistry jokes Argon…
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