'Tis The Season For Persecutory Delusions

I have been away for some time, namely studying for a little test called the MCAT. But now that the exam is in my past (and hopefully medical school in my future), I have some opinions I need to expunge from my frontal lobes…

Considering Black Friday is exactly one week away, I‘d like to reiterate something I wrote a long time ago. I may or may not be watching A Muppet Christmas Carol as I type this.

 

Anyway…I’d just like to remind everyone as you start the shopping season that there is not, in fact, a holy war in process aimed at eliminating Christianity and that a cashier who wishes you a “Happy Holiday” is not committing religious persecution. They make eight bucks an hour to sell you crap made in China. Do you really think they’re part of a clandestine effort to extinguish Christmas from all public life? If you do, you watch too much Fox News. So when you respond back with an overly-emphatic “MERRY CHRISTMAS,” you only make yourself look like an ass and your persecutory delusions are not becoming.  It’s akin to screaming “UNDER GOD” when reciting the pledge of allegiance. Okay, we get it. You’re a card-carrying member of the J.C. fan club. Believe it or not, nobody really cares about your religious affiliation as long as you’re not imposing it on them.

Here is a useful list of things to remember if you’re shopping for Christmas and start to get that burning feeling that Barack Obama is hiding around the corner waiting to impose his Muslim religion on America…

1.       Happy Holidays is not religious persecution

2.       The mere mention of Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Pancha Ganapati, or Festivus for the rest of us, is not an implicit attack on Christmas

3.       Retail workers are just trying to do their job and are not part of any underground war against you

4.       Cultural diversity and inclusivity are positives for an advancing society

If those don’t talk you down from the proverbial ledge, remind yourself of this…

The War on Christmas wasn’t just an idea concocted in Bill O’Reilly’s mind to boost his ratings. It originated with the likes of Henry Ford and his anti-Semitic publications. If you’re going to use anti-Semitic conspiracy theories to advance your agenda, just remember that Jesus was a Jew.