WHEN WE TURN OUR BACKS THEOCRACY WILL WALK INTO TOWN

I am so entirely sick of hearing people say that social issues have no bearing on how they’re going to vote this year. I’m sick of it because it’s an argument based on totally unsound logic.

Let’s first start with the perfunctory jaded with the system argument…

Do you honestly think that voting for a “conservative” or a “liberal” politician is going to make a whole hell of a lot of difference in our country’s governance? I put “conservative” and “liberal” in quotes because I label politicians with those monikers only rhetorically. They run as such and then govern in the interest of the people who can finance their next campaign. George Bush, the non-interventionist, compassionate conservative leaves office as an uber-spending liberal with two wars on his watch (after having won reelection off of the old standby for Republicans who are losing the public opinion—gay bashing). Obama signs onto extensions of tax cuts he promised to repeal during his campaign. Tax cuts in the middle of two decade (+) long wars and we wonder why we have trillions of dollars of debt—can’t be military spending, must be the elderly and the indigent. Better cut their benefits. Obama promises an Employee Free Choice Act, yet workers are being attacked more now than at just about any time in history.

These examples are just the last two presidents. Go back through history and you’ll find an endless cache of broken campaign promises either because they were just outright bullshitting their would be electors or because they got into office with all these high hopes and then realized we’re a tripartite government and not a dictatorship. Either way, people who campaign as either conservative or liberal rarely end up governing as such.

They’re all the same. You think you have a choice in elections? Well, you do. Your choice is between which paid-for politician you want as a figurehead in office. Which Super PAC do you want influencing our leadership? We’ll never have real choice until we stand up to the plutocracy in this country. That’ll never happen until we start caring more about the purchasing of our elected officials than we do about who won American Idol (so the next time you want to bitch about how the country is run, take a look in the mirror first). But if you’re satisfied with the your only real choice being which of the ten McDonald’s you want to stop at within a mile radius then go ahead and continue with your apathy.

Since it doesn’t matter fiscally who sits in the Oval Office because they’re just paid for figureheads anyway, that leaves social issues as the main difference between the candidates. Do you want somebody in office who’ll at least support civil rights, women’s rights, etcetera, or do you want Rick “man on dog,” “aspirin between the knees” Santorum or Mitt “I’m on the side of whatever will get me the most votes and that, right now, happens to be the lunatic conservative fringe” Romney?

When people say they only care about the economy right now, I know they’re doing it with the intent that their elected officials will only focus on economic issues. But when people turn a blind eye to social issues we end up with theocrats trying to weasel their religious dogmas into our law while everybody is looking the other way.

We get Virginia passing government sanctioned rape.
We get Chris Christie politicking with marriage equality in New Jersey because he’s prepping for a 2016 presidential run and doesn’t want to piss off the religious ideologues. Christie, you’re a phony and a coward and just revealed yourself as such. Congrats.
We get attempts at anti-abortion legislation pervasive in multiple states Oklahoma, Virginia, Mississippi, and multiple others, not to mention within the federal government.

These so called personhood amendments are just a backdoor way for men to regain complete control over women. They even go further than these ignoramus politicians think they go. Let’s get a little technical for a second. Hormonal birth control works by either preventing the release of the egg from the ovary, changing the consistency of cervical mucus in order to make it harder for the sperm to wiggle its way to the egg, or preventing implantation of the fertilized egg to the uterine wall. Personhood amendments seek to constitutionally define the beginning of life at conception, so in addition to outlawing abortion, they would outlaw some forms of hormonal birth control. These theocrats are hypocrites because, considering 98% of women use(d) birth control, it’s a virtual certainty that even those voting for this legislation have committed murder under the premises that they’re setting forth. Even all those Bible thumpers who think coitus interruptus is okay better reread Genesis 38:9-10. So the next time you’re thinking about pulling out, remember Onan.

**On a side note, do we really need to opine about why a group of sexually repressed religious ideologues are so resentful of women? Religion rejects human nature and when you reject your natural instincts they eventually expose themselves out of frustration, which only leads to harmful conclusions. 

These self-righteous theocrats are just arbitrarily defining the starting point of life. They want us to accept that the components of life are the only requirement for life. I’m not here to hold the abortion debate or to offer my own definition of life, but if that’s the case then any woman who’s ever had her period or any man who’s ever jerked off or had a nocturnal emission is a mass murderer. Think of all the lives you’re ending the next time you whip out Titty Titty Gang Bang.

We’re now talking about birth control in this country. Birth control. Are we serious? We’re seriously debating about a woman’s right to use birth control in the year 2012? 98% of women use or have used some form of contraceptive and that includes all those cafeteria Catholics out there who want to pick and choose which parts of their religion to follow and discard whatever doesn't fit their lifestyle. I just have to ask one more time—Are we seriously debating birth control right now? I’m in such disbelief about the fact that we’re discussing this in the year 2012 that all I can do is refer you here. 

This is what happens when we say we don’t care about the social issues. Socially conservative ideologues sneak in their woman and gay-hating legislation and slowly try to create theocratic rule. You think I’m exaggerating by calling them theocrats? Their social beliefs are based on their religious principles and they want their religious principles to dictate civil law. That’s the virtual definition of theocracy and whether they like it or not, we are a secular society and that is what makes us great. That I don’t have to live by somebody else’s divine dictum is what makes us a great country, but if we all turn a blind eye to civil rights and equality then one day we’ll wake up under theocratic rule and wonder how we got there.

Social issues do matter. They always matter. A woman’s uterus is not a matter of public policy, nor should gay rights be left in the hands of public opinion. We’re a republic because America values the rights of minorities over the tyranny of majorities. No group, no matter how large, has a right to impose their religious idealism onto others. But when the citizenry says that they don’t care about these wedge issues that’s exactly what happens. Please care enough about your country to not let that happen.

Google Santorum

I’ve got to admit that I’m a little sad today. I was busy saving lives last night at work but I found a minute to look up the results of the Iowa Republican Caucus during my lunch break. Now I don't think that the Iowa Caucus is a bellwether of the American public—or even most Republicans. Iowa as a whole, maybe. Iowa Republicans, no way.

However, that Rick Santorum won 25% of the vote and was able to come in second place by only 8 votes makes me very sad and it makes me sad for two reasons.  

First, it makes me sad that people are so easily brainwashed by the media that they're willing to vote in a presidential election for a guy who has made his name on bigotry and homophobia. The people know nothing about this man. They knew nothing about Michele Bachmann, they knew nothing about Rick Perry, they knew nothing about Hermann Cain, and they knew nothing about Newt Gingrich. All they knew was what the people in the talking box were telling them. Santorum got lucky that Newt's ride on the media bandwagon ended just in time for the Iowa Caucuses and he was the heir apparent to the anti-Romney throne. Hey Rick, congratulations, you're the conservative's last resort. Now the media is going to actually vet you and the public will see you for who you really are, you bigot.

The second (and primary) reason it makes me sad is because it shows that there is still a large portion of our population that are socially conservative ideologues. I’m not referring to the live and let live conservatives, but the ideologues who want to jam their religion down your throat--the ones who want to deny equal rights to gays because their religious ideals tell them gay is bad. I’m talking about the ones who want to control women’s uteruses and care more about a kid when it's a fetus than when it's an actual live child (until, of course, they reach military age-then they're much more useful).

Rick Santorum is a bigot who thinks his idea of “values” should supersede anybody else's "unchristian" value system. Yes, I said it-Rick Santorum is a bigot and if you think your religious ideals give you the right to trample on the rights of others' who do no harm to you then you’re a bigot, too. That’s another thing that annoys me. Why is the term “values” in this country synonymous with “Christian values?” You dig through the history of the church’s actions past and present and you’ll find that Christianity is very low on the morality totem. Christians most definitely do not have a monopoly on values. But if you want to know more about my feelings on religion then I refer you here: WARNING: Excessive Consumption of False Rhetoric Leads to Messed Up Worldviews. 

How can we take seriously a man who compared gay marriage activists to 9-11 terrorists? How dare we even consider a man who openly says that gay relationships are the equivalent to polygamy, incest, adultery, pedophilia, and bestiality? Why would you want a president who is openly disdainful toward single mothers seeking government help (forget his completely contradictory stances against contraception and sex education)? But, hey, when Glenn Beck says you’re the next George Washington, you must be legitimate. If you really want to know the true nature of this dufus looking a-hole, all you have to do is Google “Santorum.”

Don’t get me wrong, Rick Santorum isn’t going anywhere. He’s a Mike Huckabee and considering Rupert Murdoch’s endorsement, he’ll be back on Fox News sometime in the near future. He works for the loony tune evangelicals, but the American public won’t tolerate such an ignoramus once they learn who he is. It’s just disheartening to know that the God, Guns, and Gays demagoguery still holds clout with such a large segment of society.

Here’s my plea to sane Christian’s everywhere (I know you’re the majority): Please stop letting people like this represent you. Rick Santorum is one of the reasons why stereotypes have way more power than they should. Is Google “Santorum” really who you want people to think of when they hear “Christian?”

Successful societies always trend towards progressivism and giving more rights. This country’s no different, but unfortunately it isn’t a linear progression towards freedom. The road to freedom and equality has some bumps in it. We take steps forward and backward—we just have to hope the forward steps outnumber the backward ones.

I thought this country was more advanced in its thinking, but that Rick Santorum can be taken seriously as a presidential candidate makes me very sad that we haven’t moved beyond that kind of ignorance in many places. But, like I said, things always move toward progressivism—just at varying rates. America is a beautiful country, but sometimes we get a large, ignorant boil right on our ass that can only be treated with intelligence and insight.

WARNING: Excessive Consumption of False Rhetoric Leads to Messed Up Worldviews

*Forgive the bias toward Christianity…like everybody else, my worldview has largely been influenced by my place of birth (the first piece of evidence that religion is illegitimate).

I label myself an agnostic. I don’t know one way or the other whether God exists, nor can I offer definitive proof either way. There are people way smarter than me to hold that debate. But if there is a God, I’m pretty certain that he/she isn’t the smarmy bastard depicted by the Abrahamic religions. What I do believe is that religion, in the theistic sense, has been a huge detriment to our society and is a shining example of human weakness.

Religions are dependent upon brainwashing children in order to survive. Let’s take Christianity. Imagine trying to sell the religion to an intelligent adult, who just happens to have no knowledge of your belief system. I picture a conversation going something like this:

“Joe Heathen, I’m worried about the destiny of your soul after you die. I have just the thing to get you on the righteous track so you can rest in paradise for all eternity. It’s called Christianity.”

“Well, geez, I’m all for paradise. Tell me a little more about this Christianity thing.”

“See Joe, we’ve got God. Now, he created the world in six days, during which he created man in his image. Then God took one of the man’s ribs and made a woman. One day, the woman was having a nice conversation with a snake and he tricked her into eating from the tree of knowledge. She, in turn, gave the man fruit from the tree and they both learned the secrets of good and evil. This pissed God off and he cast them out of the Garden of Eden.”

“But sir, how could the woman or the man have known it was wrong to disobey God if they couldn’t discriminate between good and evil before they ate from the tree of knowledge?”

“Uh…uh, God’s ways are just higher than ours. Moving along. People were sinful—especially the queers—and God wiped out the earth with a flood, made the Jews wander the desert for forty years, and turned a great fish into a temporary residence for Jonah. Despite all the warnings, people were still sinful—mostly the queers—but ours is a forgiving God so he sent us a chance for salvation. See God is a three part being, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

“So you believe in three Gods?”

“No, it’s just one. Trust me. God’s ways are higher. Anyway, God sent us his son to the earth, who was really himself, in order to sacrifice this son/himself for the sake of humanity. Jesus Christ was born to a virgin and over the course of his life he walked on water, made the blind see, fed thousands of men with a few fish and a couple loaves of bread, and he raised the dead. He was perfect. Though he did get mad at that fig tree one time…”

Hearty belly laughs from Joe Heathen followed by an awkward pause…

“Oh, you’re serious?”

Tell these stories to a child and threaten them with eternal damnation if they don’t follow the rules and—BAM!—Religion survives another generation. In the immortal words of George Carlin, “When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims—Religion.”

People have used faith to commit atrocities, to cast out people they don't like, to murder cartoonists who speak out against their prophet, to mutilate women’s genitals, and issue fatwas against authors. The Old Testament is a handbook of genocide. Evil is done by believers and non-believers, alike. Evil in the name of God is no better than evil without God.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” –Voltaire.

Morality doesn’t require God, only a necessity to survive while living together in a community. Once we stopped wandering the Eastern Steppe, I can't imagine it took too long to figure out we shouldn’t kill each other. Humans ascribe moral standards to things. Some things we get right. Murder, rape, pedophilia—BAD. Some things we get horribly wrong. Gays, women—GOOD. Institutionalized religion is a human creation and its roots are with our excessive fear of death and an inherent need to have explanations (whether or not they’re based in evidence).

Belief isn’t in itself bad. Using your beliefs to justify hate, war, killing, torture, and to deny rights to people who do nothing to hurt anybody else is bad. “God said so,” is not a legitimate argument. I’m sure religion is a good drug for those who live up to its standard, but it’s caused more anguish to those who fall short than almost any other human creation. 

I don’t believe in the personal God of the Abrahamic religions. I don’t believe God created people and put them on earth to test our allegiance to him. That’s absurd and it’s evil. It’s putting a steak in front of a starving man and telling him not to eat.  Only a God created by humans could be so petty and egoistic. I just don’t but it.

Then again, I could be wrong. In which case, I’ve got some splainin’ to do when I get to the pearly gates. Sorry, God, but you created me this way!

Yours,

Liz

Happy Holidays is Not Religious Persecution

Since the holiday season is upon us, I just have one question about a war Americans have been engaged in for a long time now (since approximately the advent of Fox News). I’m not talking about Iraq or Afghanistan or even any other clandestine war that may be going on either. No, I’m referring to the all-important WAR ON CHRISTMAS.

My question is…where the hell is it? Seriously, where is it? You drive down the streets and its Christmas lights for miles. Radio stations play 24 hours of Christmas music. Christmas specials plastered all over the television. I go into work (a large, public hospital) and it’s more Christmas lights, display cases filled with Santa Claus and angel figurines, and windows painted with Christmas scenes, wintry scenes, religious scenes…oh yeah, there is one window that acknowledges Kwanzaa and Hanukkah. I know that offends some Christians.


More Christmas



My sorry decorations

Now, I love Christmas. As the song goes, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year. There’s nothing better than fresh fallen snow blanketing the pine trees in Maine or driving down the street at night and admiring all the ostentatiously decorated houses (except maybe the ones with the half deflated oversized decorations they bought at Wal-Mart). But what is so wrong about acknowledging that people exist outside of Christendom? A store clerk wishing you a Happy Holiday is not religious persecution. So please just respond with a pleasant smile, a thank you, and a same to you, not an overly emphatic MERRY CHRISTMAS!



Put the Christ back in Christmas





Party Time



See, that’s the shit that bugs me. It’s like when people are reciting the pledge of allegiance and add a little extra oomph when they get to, “…one nation, UNDER GOD.” We get it, you like God, congratulations, we don’t care. Now go re-read Matthew 6:5 and 6:6 (this applies to you too, Tim Tebow). Nobody’s trying to convert you to paganism and, despite what the right wing talking heads tell you, your kids actually can pray in school (it’s called the free exercise clause). So could you please stop using your religion for political gain and making up phony wars on Christianity? It’s called persecutory delusions and you should probably seek help.

Happy Holidays!

Liz