WHEN WE TURN OUR BACKS THEOCRACY WILL WALK INTO TOWN

I am so entirely sick of hearing people say that social issues have no bearing on how they’re going to vote this year. I’m sick of it because it’s an argument based on totally unsound logic.

Let’s first start with the perfunctory jaded with the system argument…

Do you honestly think that voting for a “conservative” or a “liberal” politician is going to make a whole hell of a lot of difference in our country’s governance? I put “conservative” and “liberal” in quotes because I label politicians with those monikers only rhetorically. They run as such and then govern in the interest of the people who can finance their next campaign. George Bush, the non-interventionist, compassionate conservative leaves office as an uber-spending liberal with two wars on his watch (after having won reelection off of the old standby for Republicans who are losing the public opinion—gay bashing). Obama signs onto extensions of tax cuts he promised to repeal during his campaign. Tax cuts in the middle of two decade (+) long wars and we wonder why we have trillions of dollars of debt—can’t be military spending, must be the elderly and the indigent. Better cut their benefits. Obama promises an Employee Free Choice Act, yet workers are being attacked more now than at just about any time in history.

These examples are just the last two presidents. Go back through history and you’ll find an endless cache of broken campaign promises either because they were just outright bullshitting their would be electors or because they got into office with all these high hopes and then realized we’re a tripartite government and not a dictatorship. Either way, people who campaign as either conservative or liberal rarely end up governing as such.

They’re all the same. You think you have a choice in elections? Well, you do. Your choice is between which paid-for politician you want as a figurehead in office. Which Super PAC do you want influencing our leadership? We’ll never have real choice until we stand up to the plutocracy in this country. That’ll never happen until we start caring more about the purchasing of our elected officials than we do about who won American Idol (so the next time you want to bitch about how the country is run, take a look in the mirror first). But if you’re satisfied with the your only real choice being which of the ten McDonald’s you want to stop at within a mile radius then go ahead and continue with your apathy.

Since it doesn’t matter fiscally who sits in the Oval Office because they’re just paid for figureheads anyway, that leaves social issues as the main difference between the candidates. Do you want somebody in office who’ll at least support civil rights, women’s rights, etcetera, or do you want Rick “man on dog,” “aspirin between the knees” Santorum or Mitt “I’m on the side of whatever will get me the most votes and that, right now, happens to be the lunatic conservative fringe” Romney?

When people say they only care about the economy right now, I know they’re doing it with the intent that their elected officials will only focus on economic issues. But when people turn a blind eye to social issues we end up with theocrats trying to weasel their religious dogmas into our law while everybody is looking the other way.

We get Virginia passing government sanctioned rape.
We get Chris Christie politicking with marriage equality in New Jersey because he’s prepping for a 2016 presidential run and doesn’t want to piss off the religious ideologues. Christie, you’re a phony and a coward and just revealed yourself as such. Congrats.
We get attempts at anti-abortion legislation pervasive in multiple states Oklahoma, Virginia, Mississippi, and multiple others, not to mention within the federal government.

These so called personhood amendments are just a backdoor way for men to regain complete control over women. They even go further than these ignoramus politicians think they go. Let’s get a little technical for a second. Hormonal birth control works by either preventing the release of the egg from the ovary, changing the consistency of cervical mucus in order to make it harder for the sperm to wiggle its way to the egg, or preventing implantation of the fertilized egg to the uterine wall. Personhood amendments seek to constitutionally define the beginning of life at conception, so in addition to outlawing abortion, they would outlaw some forms of hormonal birth control. These theocrats are hypocrites because, considering 98% of women use(d) birth control, it’s a virtual certainty that even those voting for this legislation have committed murder under the premises that they’re setting forth. Even all those Bible thumpers who think coitus interruptus is okay better reread Genesis 38:9-10. So the next time you’re thinking about pulling out, remember Onan.

**On a side note, do we really need to opine about why a group of sexually repressed religious ideologues are so resentful of women? Religion rejects human nature and when you reject your natural instincts they eventually expose themselves out of frustration, which only leads to harmful conclusions. 

These self-righteous theocrats are just arbitrarily defining the starting point of life. They want us to accept that the components of life are the only requirement for life. I’m not here to hold the abortion debate or to offer my own definition of life, but if that’s the case then any woman who’s ever had her period or any man who’s ever jerked off or had a nocturnal emission is a mass murderer. Think of all the lives you’re ending the next time you whip out Titty Titty Gang Bang.

We’re now talking about birth control in this country. Birth control. Are we serious? We’re seriously debating about a woman’s right to use birth control in the year 2012? 98% of women use or have used some form of contraceptive and that includes all those cafeteria Catholics out there who want to pick and choose which parts of their religion to follow and discard whatever doesn't fit their lifestyle. I just have to ask one more time—Are we seriously debating birth control right now? I’m in such disbelief about the fact that we’re discussing this in the year 2012 that all I can do is refer you here. 

This is what happens when we say we don’t care about the social issues. Socially conservative ideologues sneak in their woman and gay-hating legislation and slowly try to create theocratic rule. You think I’m exaggerating by calling them theocrats? Their social beliefs are based on their religious principles and they want their religious principles to dictate civil law. That’s the virtual definition of theocracy and whether they like it or not, we are a secular society and that is what makes us great. That I don’t have to live by somebody else’s divine dictum is what makes us a great country, but if we all turn a blind eye to civil rights and equality then one day we’ll wake up under theocratic rule and wonder how we got there.

Social issues do matter. They always matter. A woman’s uterus is not a matter of public policy, nor should gay rights be left in the hands of public opinion. We’re a republic because America values the rights of minorities over the tyranny of majorities. No group, no matter how large, has a right to impose their religious idealism onto others. But when the citizenry says that they don’t care about these wedge issues that’s exactly what happens. Please care enough about your country to not let that happen.

KICKING CANCER'S ASS!!

For those of you who don’t know, I am a bit of a fitness freak. Now, I’m no Mia Hamm or Jackie Joyner Kersee and if I tried this:

I would most likely end up looking like this:

But all in all, I’m no slouch.

I haven’t always been fit. In fact I used to be, shall we say…a bit on the large side. There was always a healthy girl inside of me struggling to emerge, but she usually shut right up with a little bribe in the form of cheesecake. Today, though, I get a lot more enjoyment out of kicking my ass rather than sitting on it.

Six years ago I started my current job (life saver extraordinaire) and moved into my own apartment. Once I dropped the figurative dead weight in my life, the literal dead weight started to drop right off. And at the risk of pissing off every person who’s ever tried to lose weight, it really wasn’t that hard for me. The hard part was getting my shit together and taking personal responsibility for my health. As soon as I figured that part out, the fitness part was cream cheese (fat free).

So why am I—a raging liberal political junky whose writing could make Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II roll over in their graves—writing about my experiences with getting fit and healthy? Well…

In approximately six months I’ll be participating in my second Maine Tri For a Cure, a sprint triathlon in South Portland. I’ve done many races over the last six years—10 Ks, 5 Ks, Half Marathons, Triathlons, and even a Full Marathon. Yes, I’ve gone the full 26.2 miles and let me tell you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I would have cried at mile 20, but I had lost so much fluid that even my tear ducts were dried up. BUT, the Maine Tri For a Cure is the best race I’ve done out of all of them. One-third of a mile swim, 15 mile bike, 3.1 mile run, and every inch of it the most supportive and inspirational stretch.

Let me tell you a little bit about my last experience in the triathlon. Now, the bike and the run I had no issue with. Christ, I had just finished 26.2 less than a year before, so I could whip out a 5K in my sleep. The bike leg required a little more focused training, but 15 miles—meh—no problem. More or less, I had no worries about the bike and the run.

The swim, however, was a different story.

Oh, and by the way, they forget to inform you that there are actually four legs in a triathlon. The first leg takes off before the clock even starts—it’s called the wetsuit competition. It’s a damn workout getting one of those things on and for the spectators, it’s like Antoine Dodson—you can just sit back and watch it all day and it never stops being funny. Hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife.

Anyway…swimming, I love—in a controlled, fish-free environment, preferably a heated swimming pool. Fish freak me out. The only place I want to see them is in a tank or nicely broiled on my dinner plate. I trained at a lake prior to the race and I was swimming along once and, suddenly, underneath me was a rather large and daunting rainbow trout. Let’s just say, I bolted out of that lake faster than a plate of brownies disappears at a Weight Watchers meeting. I went home, thought long and hard about how dedicated I was to this race, and decided the next day to return to the lake and face the rainbow trout head on.

With training complete, it was race day. I hadn’t seen the swim course fully marked off yet, so one of the first things I did was go to see it. My jaw dropped. I had to swim half way out into the frickin’ Atlantic Ocean. My first thought was, “Holy shit, I’m going to be playing victim number 1 in Jaws Part 5.” Then I worried that I might not be able to even do the swim leg because, not knowing we were swimming to Ireland, I left my passport at home. But then I thought about how I faced the rainbow trout and lived to tell about it. So I sucked it up, jumped into the cold Atlantic Ocean, and with buoyancy on my side, the swim ended up being my strongest leg of the triathlon. I emerged triumphantly from the ocean and with my shorts half way down my ass, I hustled to the transition area and took off for the final two legs. About an hour and a half later, I crossed the finish line.

This was the best race I’ve ever done and the best part about it is that the money raised goes to cancer research, education, and support programs. Who the heck can say they haven’t been touched in some way by cancer?

There’s no word to describe the atmosphere at this race and every person there whether they’re a participant or a fan has some heartfelt connection to the cause. I’m a pretty tough chick and there only a few things that make me cry (like that goddamn Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial), but I was choking back tears as they called the survivors to the start of the race. I can honestly say that the reason this race is so special is because it’s really not about the people competing in it. It may sound like a lot—1/3 mile swim in cold, open water, 15 miles on a bike, followed up by a 5K race—but the second you think about why you’re competing makes you grateful that you have the ability to race.

The answers that have perplexed us for years are out there waiting to be found. Scientists are doing amazing things every day and organizations like the Maine Cancer Foundation are out there making sure these researches can keep finding new treatments. The scientists are doing their part and all they ask in return for caring for us and our loved ones is that they have enough resources to continue their work.

Please visit my website and maybe offer a few bucks for the sake of treating and maybe even curing a disease that has taken so many people from us. And even if you can’t give, I hope that you might be able to come on July 29^th to Spring Point Head Light and support all of the women participating and support all the people they’re racing for. It’s an amazing experience whether you’re an athlete or an athletic supporter!

Only Cool People Click On This Link!!

Thank you so much!

Yours,

Liz

  

SHAME ON YOU SUSAN G KOMEN

In case you haven’t heard, the Susan G Komen Foundation has pulled its funding from Planned Parenthood citing a new policy that prohibits funding organizations that are under investigation. Shame on you Susan G Komen, shame on you. Let’s disregard the hypocrisy of the fact that Susan G Komen gave 7.5 million dollar endowment to Penn State who is currently under federal investigation. Planned Parenthood is the victim of a partisan witch hunt orchestrated by Congressional ideologues. But I’m not here to state the obvious idiocy in Susan G pulling its funding to Planned Parenthood and subsequently cutting off critical cancer screening to women who might not otherwise receive care because of an unfair and asinine investigation by religious zealots in Congress. I’m here to point to this case as an example of how religion leads to ass backwards thinking and, therefore, counterproductive policy.

           

NOBODY IS PRO ABORTION!!! Get it? Let me say it again…nobody is pro-abortion. It’s the goal of every decent human being to limit and, ideally, end abortion everywhere. The way to get to that goal is not by criminalizing it. Criminalizing abortion only pushes it back into dark alleys and dangerous half-assed clinics. I hate to tell you, religious right, but women have been having abortions since the days of sipping pennyroyal tea and before. You don’t end abortion by shaming and criminalizing women, you only put the woman’s life at risk (though the book that the religious right bases their entire life philosophy on is a handbook for the subjugation of women, so I shouldn’t be surprised that said religious ideologues push policy that subjugates women).

The only way to minimize abortion is to offer family planning services, sex education, access to birth control, and support anti-poverty programs. Yet those who are the loudest blowhards against women’s rights to control their own bodies are the first to deny and cut access to these services. Their intentions lead to ass backward policy that only endangers more people. Planned Parenthood offers these services to a segment of the population that needs them the most. But now the religious right’s inability to think logically has gotten to the point of denying funding for breast cancer screenings to poor women so they can carry out a personal vendetta against Planned Parenthood.

The religious right’s policies only encourage women to endanger their lives because they’re stuck with no other options. The intention is there, but I would remind them that the road to perdition is paved with good intentions. Who are the ones who are really working to minimize abortion? Is it the ones who want to make women and doctors criminals, preach absurd abstinence only education, deny birth control, and eliminate anti-poverty programs—or, is it the ones who want to educate young people, offer family planning, and support programs that help children after they’re no longer fetuses? Which side are truly the pro-lifers? Think about that.

Yours,

Liz